How to Escape Your Dating Rut


Do you ever find yourself habitually attracted to bad boys or men that are not right for you? You vow next time will be different only to find yourself a month later sitting across from the same person you just left. Sure, the faces and names have changed, but somehow you have fallen into a dating rut – dating the same type of person over and over again.  How can you prevent yourself from repeating the same unconscious relationship pattern?  Here are four tips to escape dating déjà vu, and start attracting healthier and happier relationships.

Commit to emotional housecleaning
The only surefire way to prevent Mr. Wrong from taking up residence in your life is to clean house.  Start working on unresolved issues either through journaling or by writing a letter to someone who has hurt you in the past. Write out all those gut-wrenching experiences and how they made you feel.  Then destroy the pieces of paper, which will signal to the universe that pain no longer has a place in your life.  Finally, forgive.  You cannot move forward if you are still holding grudges.  Even though this person may have wronged you, it’s better to be healed than to be right.  

Practice self-love
Since we attract who we are, invite loving relationships into your life by living a life full of love – starting from within.  Oftentimes we expect others to love us, when we aren’t even kind to ourselves. We complain about our chunky thighs or our not so flat stomachs when we should be celebrating our curvaceous frames.  Or we compare ourselves to others, wishing we had their lives not recognizing the beauty in our own backyards.  Begin practicing self-love by identifying your best parts and projecting them to the world.  Make a list of at least ten positive things about yourself, and read them aloud on a daily basis.  Focusing on your finest qualities will attract those same qualities in others.

Create a vision of your ideal romantic relationship
Sometimes we settle for less than we deserve because we haven’t a clue as to what we’re looking for in a partner.  We may find ourselves going with the flow to see what happens.  Unfortunately, by the time we figure out our mate is far from Prince Charming, we’ve already become comfortable with their misbehavior.  We start to rationalize their negative underlying traits like emotionally unavailability and lack of ambition in hopes that one day they might magically disappear. Before entering your next relationship, develop a vision of what your ideal partner and relationship looks like.  How does it feel? What qualities does your mate possess? What types of activities do you enjoy together? Once you create a picture of what a happy and healthy relationship looks like, you can then start attracting it.

Become Ms. Right
If you expect to find a man that is open, honest and drama free, be committed to being that kind of person yourself.  Make a conscious effort to treat others with respect and toss the game-playing aside.  Participating in childish mind games in an attempt to gain control of a situation will only attract a playmate. You’ll soon find yourself licking your wounds when Mr. Wrong engages in a little foul play to even the score.  The bottom line is this:  The closer you move towards becoming Ms. Right, the sooner you will attract Mr. Right because people of like minds are automatically drawn to one another.

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